Burger and Lobster. That’s all, folks.


So far this weekend I’d managed not to go to Scott’s of Mayfair, nor Bistrot Bruno Loubet, as planned. I wasn’t in a Scott’s mood to be honest– didn’t want to bump into the newly-thin Nigella or spend 25% too much on fairly average food.

I was in the mood for something clean and simple. I’d already had a blast of upmarket Eurotrash at The Arts Club in the afternoon– too many women with puffy lips wearing skinny white jeans. What is it with those lips? I’ve seen some real shockers – joke lips on lollipop heads. Fashionable among a certain type of woman –  blonde hair, size zero, dress like their daughters, their plastic surgeons should be shot.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling like a complete food blogger failure. I haven’t been to Bubbledogs. I haven’t been to the Dean Street Townhouse. I haven’t been to Gauthier Soho. I haven’t even been to The Ledbury and everyone’s  been there, dahling. And this was yet another place that has been blogged to death, so it had to be done.

If you’ve read much about this,  you will know about the queues. We went at 5.30 pm.  I could pretend it was a really late lunch but in reality it was the early bird special. I ignore  the pitying looks from the greeters, as they work out whether or not to let you in, as you’re actually in your fifth decade . I’m afraid I don’t do queuing,  so I’m happy to do the pensioner walk of shame.

It’s really simple. Burgers and lobsters both £20- the burgers come any way you like, with cheese and/or bacon, chips and a side salad. The chips are those skinny ones and they have Heinz tomato ketchup and Hellmann’s mayonnaise on the table . They also have, as indeed they should, Sarson’s malt vinegar.

I suppose there are some people who don’t like lobster or who may have a shellfish allergy andwho, as a selfless act, might accompany their friend/partner for this lobsterfest. C has no such excuse and I watched with disbelief as he ordered the burger and chips. But we’re not here to talk about him or his burger although he tells me that it was excellent and it did look the business. As it should for £20.

The lobster comes a number of ways – grilled, grilled with lemon and butter, or in a lobster roll.

There it is. The lobster was juicy, fresh and the mayonnaise delicate. There was a really good amount of lobster in this. The bread was perfect. It wasn’t actually a roll, as such – it was more two thick slices of buttery, toasted challah bread. Some might say that to use the traditional Jewish loaf with lobster is an abomination. All I would say to them is that they haven’t tried it with bacon.

And the lobsters come in different sizes for different prices, going up in increments of £10. And the larger ones come with unlimited fries. And the wine list is good.  As are the cocktails.

There are no starters and there are simple desserts – on my visit there was a cheesecake and a chocolate mousse with crunchy caramel bits. I fancied that but frankly, I just couldn’t. Not even me.

It isn’t the sort of place I would spend a long evening – you can’t really spend ages on the  food or at least I can’t.  And the music would drive me up the wall.

It’s fun. It’s noisy. It’s good value. Don’t think too much about it. Just go.

Square Meal

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